Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The Life After

Things are returning to a sane pace around here. By "here" I mean my sphere of existence, not just my apartment. Husband is feeling healthy. That's wonderful. He's not having problems, everything is functioning the way it should be...and he and I are both thinking "Now what?".

For a long time I refused to define myself by his illness, as did he, but it ended up being how we did define ourselves. That sentence does not have an elegant structure. It's nearly one am, though, so I give not a shit.

I'm back at work, at a semi-regular schedule. We are 99.9% settled at this new house. My body is growing, yes, but it is no longer making me ill to an extraordinary degree. I actually went to a party in Quincy this past weekend. One of my best girlfriends was having this housewarming sort of thing with her roommates, and I haven't seen her since Christmas. I went even though it was pissing down rain and I was tired. I went and drank soda and ate almost the whole veggie platter and talked about theater and cats and men and the Massachusetts Social Services System and books and movies like a normal 26 year old woman. It felt really good.

I'd been taking it "one day at a time" as everyone told me to do, back when he was so sick. Now we have arrived at a Tomorrow of sorts. I can start planning fun things and working like a normal human and go back to my once weekly attempts at cooking.

This is very refreshing, and a little scary. This weekend we kind of slumped around our apartment. Went out for lunch and a movie ("Mr. and Mrs. Smith" is quite fun, by the way) like ordinary married folks. There were no frantic doctor's calls, no sudden crippling attacks of pain.

My word, we may start to become dull!

This also means my brain can start going back to the "What is it that I am looking for?" reason I started this blog in the first place. Though this little guy in my belly that is the size of my fist has changed so much...everything, really.

I guess the plus is that I don't have to go back to school anytime soon (semi sarcastic ha ha ha).


Post a Comment

<< Home