Selfish Anonymity
When I started this blog, the point was for it to be anonymous. To keep my friends away, freeing myself from the role in their lives that I have to fill. Though I mentioned my little...experiment(?)...to my husband and an old, old friend, I did not tell anyone the address or what I wrote about.
So very selfish.
Last night, however, I did tell a "friend". I use the quotes, because the man knows me very little (so is he a stranger, and therefore my target audience?). He is an invaluable piece of my life. I see him almost every day. Nearly a year ago, he literally saved my husband's life, on a night that I was too weak and sick myself to react properly to the horrible pain my Beloved was going through. I love this not quite friend. He does not love me, because he knows me only as the wife of my husband.
I actually really like that. No, let's be honest, I love that! I love that I can be in a car for nearly an hour with this guy, say nothing, and he doesn't think I'm mad at him or something. My relationship with him is the most selfish relationship I have ever had, but nothing feels wrong about it, because he doesn't care about me, so I can cause him no pain! It's fantastic! He makes me laugh, supplies me with reading material, lets me stare at his divinely perfect posterior and then he goes home and I exit his mind. I have never had a freedom like this.
I also had a brief moment of alarm when I saw a link to my blog on Eat More People, one of the sites I frequent. I really don't know why Rick put it there. Our sites have little in common except the ".blogspot.com" at the end of them. I guess since I'm one of his regulars, he thought he'd do me a favor and send people to me. He's a sweetie, that Rick.
So it’s probably good that I told this “friend” the name of it. If I hadn’t, he might have seen the new link, gone there when bored, and figured out within ten seconds that it was me. He said that he wouldn’t read it if I didn’t want him to (but is he a stranger, and therefore my target audience?).
Why is this secret so important to me?
So very selfish.
Last night, however, I did tell a "friend". I use the quotes, because the man knows me very little (so is he a stranger, and therefore my target audience?). He is an invaluable piece of my life. I see him almost every day. Nearly a year ago, he literally saved my husband's life, on a night that I was too weak and sick myself to react properly to the horrible pain my Beloved was going through. I love this not quite friend. He does not love me, because he knows me only as the wife of my husband.
I actually really like that. No, let's be honest, I love that! I love that I can be in a car for nearly an hour with this guy, say nothing, and he doesn't think I'm mad at him or something. My relationship with him is the most selfish relationship I have ever had, but nothing feels wrong about it, because he doesn't care about me, so I can cause him no pain! It's fantastic! He makes me laugh, supplies me with reading material, lets me stare at his divinely perfect posterior and then he goes home and I exit his mind. I have never had a freedom like this.
I also had a brief moment of alarm when I saw a link to my blog on Eat More People, one of the sites I frequent. I really don't know why Rick put it there. Our sites have little in common except the ".blogspot.com" at the end of them. I guess since I'm one of his regulars, he thought he'd do me a favor and send people to me. He's a sweetie, that Rick.
So it’s probably good that I told this “friend” the name of it. If I hadn’t, he might have seen the new link, gone there when bored, and figured out within ten seconds that it was me. He said that he wouldn’t read it if I didn’t want him to (but is he a stranger, and therefore my target audience?).
Why is this secret so important to me?
posted by Novice at 10:48 AM
2 Comments:
Eep. Sorry if I made things more complicated than you would have liked them to be.
However, there's more to you ending up on my sidebar than just being a regular at EMP. We'll have a long heart to heart about it sometime.
Honey, don't give it a second thought. I was quite flattered actually, because your blog is one of my favorites.
And when is my name EVER going to be next to Neil Gaiman? Never, that's when. Even if my children's books do get published, they won't be next to "Coraline" or "The Wolves in The Walls". We're quite far apart in the alphabet.
I feel all famous...awwww.
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