Tuesday, January 25, 2005


An hour ago I was so tired. I was grateful for the couch, left to me by my husband as he went to bed. The lucky bastard can fall asleep five minutes after his head hits the pillow.

Since I was little, I have never been able to sleep like that. I remember staring through the blackness of the open door directly across from my little bed. It would be midnight. I would have kindergarten in nine hours. My big Oscar the Grouch was next to my head, I would be holding him so tightly, and unable sleep. My mother used to tell me that I needed to shut that overactive imagination of mine off. She always said it so fondly though. I think she was equally frustrated and proud of my overactive imagination.

When I was twelve, I didn’t sleep for a week. Nightmares. We started trying everything. From warm milk to therapists to Tylenol PM to Halcion and everything in between. It happened again when I was sixteen. Lavender. Chamomile. Melatonin (the man of the moment).

Trazodone. The first time I took that, I overdosed and slept until 3pm. For the rest of the day, I couldn’t walk in a straight line, and when I talked, I sounded absolutely hammered. From then on, no matter how much I want to, I never take more than one pill.

The one time I have been able to go to sleep without any aid came to me after my first copulation marathon. I was thrilled! Finally, a drug free way to get some shut eye and hot damn is it fun! After a couple nights of that though, we were both rather...sore. And my Beloved was starting to resent me a bit. The lovely state of relaxation that comes with Afterglow cannot be forced, I think. Sex for the sake of sleep really isn’t fair to sex.

So here I am. It is nearly midnight. That’s not very late to most of the people I know (some people's nights are beginning now), but I have to get up in exactly seven hours, do some heavy lifting (to get my car out of the mound of snow) and work for eight hours. Paycheck work, not this. This I can do in my massive turquoise bathrobe and polka dot slippers. Sitting in my apartment. While I wait for sleep.

Wait for sleep.

Hmmm...maybe I’ll wake up my husband...


Blogger ARC23 said...

love your blog I bookmarked it

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Adam Roy Cohoon [ARC]
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12:38 PM  
Blogger Novice said...

Thanks, Adam. I am flattered.

1:02 PM  

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