My new birth control pills

say "Do not take if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant" on the package...














...sigh.

Enjoy this time now.

They’re those little footed things that almost all of us had when we were kids. Sky blue, with little cartoon cows, frogs, puppies and tractors on them. The cutest little pyjamas ever made and now he's too big for them. I got kind of teary as I packed them away with his first little booties, the giraffe layette and the hat he wore home from the hospital. I realized how soon it will be before he's a big boy.

I think of my sister, how the last time she saw him she said “He’s just going to get bigger and bigger and then he won’t be a baby!” I remember when she was just a tiny baby, and I lamented the same when I left for college. Now she’s almost a teenager.

Everyone says enjoy this time now because it will be gone before I know it. I do know it, and now I’m looking at him, resting against his Boppy on the couch, asleep.

Enjoy this time now.

Ever seen the fountains at the Bellagio in Vegas?

Sam’s a little fussy. He needs changing.

Bring him to the changing table. Change the diaper, put the washcloth over his penis so nothing gets sprayed. Clean him up, reach for the fresh diaper and he

shoots

the washcloth off, spraying the window, the table, his whole right arm and his T-shirt.

I am yelling “Nooooooo!. Aw, MAN, Sam!”.

Then he

laughs!

No fooling, he laughed just like Ernie from Sesame Street.

Husband calls from the kitchen “Did he pee?”.

I say “(grumble) Yes.”

Husband comes in, “Is he laughing?”.

I lift up the now nude Mr. Pee, lower him on to a towel on the rug. He lies there while I mop up the table and wipe the window.

Then I clean him off, lift him to the clean dry table and

he
does
it
again!

The instant he touches the table! More than before!

“What? NO! AAAAAARGH how is this possible?” I yell.

Husband comes running back in “Again?”.

Sam is laughing more than the last time. At this point, his Daddy and I are, too.

I am doubled over and clutching the rocking chair for support.

We double team this time. Husband grabs him, cleans him, and diapers him with lighting speed while I mop up the fountain.

Now he is fussing.

He fusses because there is nothing to pee on.

The End.