Friday, May 20, 2005

Panic Comes, Panic Subsides.

Husband came home from the hospital last night. He's doing well, just very very very tired. We discussed our move back to Worcester.

I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed. I can't lift heavy things now that I'm pregnant, I need to get lots of sleep and exercise and I have so much to do!

Other than the everyday laundry, dishes, job responsibilities, I have to schedule the move, pack up the rest of our stuff, move the antique china (I'm not trusting that to movers. One slip and they're powder.).

Oh, and the liquor stores around here are limiting the number of boxes you can have. What is that all about? What do they need a thousand Bacardi boxes for? I have a million books and framed photos and I'm saving them the trouble of recycling them later. They should thank me and let me have all the boxes I can stuff in my car!

I feel so bad for my husband, because he really wants to help, but he physically can't. He has to be extremely careful so the muscles in his abdomen can heal. He's not allowed to do ANYTHING. Even the dishes are dangerous for him because it involves prolonged standing.

You know what, though? I am so freaking happy, amidst all this. My life is going to change forever. It's going to be filled with poopy diapers, getting jerked awake at two am by a small person screaming, sore nipples, sleep deprivation and I am so HAPPY! I feel like throwing up until 3pm every day. I am so so so so tired. I can't drink alcohol or coffee for over a year and I am ECSTATIC!

The size of a sesame seed. That's how big my baby is right now.

I am complaining about all the crap I have to get done soon and I am smiling from ear to ear. I'm having a baby! I am having a baby! I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and now I finally will be. I'm in love with an amazing man who will be a great father, I'm going to be raising my child in a beautiful house with a backyard and a porch in a quiet neighborhood.

Nothing else really matters, does it? If we have to move a little later on to get everything done, that's what we'll do. If we have to shell out money for boxes at packing supply stores, we'll do it. If I have to let my boss know that, sorry, this project I'll have to work on at home because I haven't had a lot of sleep lately and I need to make sure I nap today, I'll do it.

My family is what's important right now. Before I know it I'll be in my new house, looking at fabric for my baby's curtains. I am sure there will be a host of new things to stress me and my Beloved out, but so what? They'll pass.

Life's little everyday annoyances will come to pass, and I will be this child's mother for the rest of our lives.


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